Denise Evans

I Remember Mom



Posted: Saturday, May 08, 2010

by Denise Evans

Since it's Mother's Day weekend, I wanted to do some sort of tribute to all the friends I have that are mothers.  My mom died about 20 years ago now.  When I started thinking about what to write, I realized writing about, and to, my own mom was what I wanted to do.  There is so much to write about her and it has been awhile since I really thought about all the memories of our life together.  So this "writing" is dedicated to you, Lois, my best friend ever, and my momma

I started thinking about the fact that you, a tiny, little lady, brought me into the world.  Something I can't relate to having never given birth to a child.  But for that alone, I thank you momma.  I know it must have been so painful let alone carrying around that extra load for 9 months.  I wonder how many of your dreams couldn't come true because you chose to have me instead.  You chose to feed me and comfort me when I cried, change my dirty diapers and sing and dance to entertain me. 

One of my earliest memories was living in an old, country house near Winston Oregon.  I remember a big kitchen(well, it was certainly big to me)and going through your cupboards looking for my favorite "spinning" bowl.  It was metal and I could sit right into it and spin round and round on the floor.  I don't know what you were doing but now I suspect you may have been taking some aspirin. 

I do remember you singing and dancing about though:)  That is why my whole life I have loved to dance, just like you mom. 

You cooked and baked such good things, and I always seemed to be around to lick the cake or icing bowl. I so loved your chicken and dumplings.  You made lemon-meringue pie, especially for my older brother, his favorite, but we all got to enjoy it.  I remember baking-powder biscuits, waffles and french-toast.  Sometimes we even got to have breakfast for dinner!  I really loved that, thank you momma.

I remember you getting my little, brother(Alan)and I all dressed in our pajamas and taking us to the Starlight drive-in movie.  You and a girlfriend took us and we would get popcorn and soda.  It was so wonderful!  I remember the cartoons and then, some of the movie as we curled up in the back and went to sleep.  I could sleep anywhere you were around.  I don't remember ever feeling more safe then when I was with you.  Thank you for that momma.

By the way mom, you brought my brothers and sister into the world too.  And you did do that especially for me, right?  Thank you for that too momma

I remember being sick in the night and crying for you.  You would always come and take care of me, always.  You would bring me a hot-water-bottle or whatever I needed.  You were always there. When I think of how ticked I get when something awakens me, I know what I must have meant to you.  Thank you for that momma.

I remember my girlfriends wanting to come stay at my house because "your mother is so neat and fun Denise"!!  I was proud of you mom.  Even though sometimes, your practical jokes would embarrass a teenager with the total lack of a sense of humor. I remember wanting to have our landlord's daughter come and stay.  I so wanted to "make her think" we had as classy a family as hers.  I asked if you would make the table extra special for Katie.  So you did, you set it with our best dishes and silverware.  We all sat down and you said "oh, I've forgotten napkins"!  Then, right in the middle of the table, you placed a lovely, white, roll of toilet paper.  I remember Katie busting up laughing and wanting to come over more often.  Way to go mom, you did know best.

Yes, I remember you mom, and love you for those memories I can forever look back on and smile.  You gave me the ability to laugh at myself and not take things too seriously. And sometimes, even make others laugh.  Thank you for that too momma.

Your life was never easy.  I saw you go through so many hard times but I never knew how hard until I had to face life on life's terms myself.  I gain more and more respect for you with every, passing day.  You weren't perfect and you never tried to make anyone think you were.  You were just you and all kinds of people loved you.  I remember being that "child" wanting only for myself. I remember getting angry because you wouldn't let me have what I wanted.  I remember telling you I hated you.  It breaks my heart to know I said that to you.  I hope you knew it wasn't true.  I hope you know how much I love you.

I remember you sewing dresses for me.  We didn't have much but we did get to go square-dancing down at the grange near Wimer Oregon.  Because you were such a good dancer and passed some of that talent on to me, I even got to square-dance with the adults when I was only 10.  I remember that dress with the full skirt! How I loved twirling around in it, thank you momma!

I have pictures of you mom, pictures of you before I knew you.  It was hard to understand that you were so young once too.  And the boy, friends who would ride their bikes for miles just to visit you. I remember the poem you taught me when I was beginning to be interested in boys:

Go wistful child and seek your mate
but leave your dreams behind
because I fear God did not create
the man you have in mind

You were right mom, because I thought there was a perfect man, like in the Fairy Tales.  But I found out that there were no perfect princes, and also, that I was no perfect princess either. You taught me smart things mom, but I didn't listen to them until late in life.  You didn't want me to make the same mistakes you did.  Mistakes or not, I want to be more like you mom, a survivor and a strong lady, someone who doesn't complain, someone who never stops smiling even when life gets so frightening. Thank you for your example mom

I remember hearing you say "don't be bitter", "be nice to others", "don't be selfish".  I remember you telling me to love my little brother and don't fight with him.  You knew one day I would miss him horribly and regret not loving him more.  You were so right, about so many things mom.  Maybe it is better to know that late, rather than never.  I know you would say that mom:)  I miss you more with every word I type.

I remember saying "I don't want to be like mom".  I am glad to say I am much like you mom.   I wouldn't trade you for any, other mom.  You used to tell me when we were mad at each other that you were sure they switched babies on you in the hospital.  But I know you wouldn't really have traded me.  I know because I am sure there were many opportunities for you to ditch me but you never did.

There is so much more I could write about you but now that I am older, it is hard to remember all the things I could say about you and I do mean good things.  Funny how the imperfect things about the ones we love are so unimportant.  Compared to the wonderful things they bring into our lives:)

If you are watching me write this mom, and I hope you are, I just want to tell you how glad I am you chose to keep me around.  Thank you for thinking of me all those times when you could have been selfish. 

I love you mom, deanie

Author: Denise Evans

Denise Evans is a christian lady living back in her hometown after about 30 years:) Her stories were written several years ago now and she hasn't had anything come to mind since, that she wanted to write about. She hopes she has more stories come to mind, as these were so much fun to write.

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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by Paul Schroeder 1 year 7 days ago.
71 fans.
I wonder that your mom was just too injuredly cynical, about men, and that you have since met your perfect dream man; he is possible, as you are possible.

A wondrous tribute to your mom; my mom was sadly the exact precise type of person, whom she warned me to stay away from, in life.

Paul
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